Thursday, August 13, 2015
It's been awhile.
So I haven't made any post's in a dog's age, and I think I will have to correct that starting today. I hope to post something weekly, and then moving up until I hit daily, or nearly daily. Sometimes life will get in the way, and I don't apologize for that.
Wednesday, June 08, 2011
A Good Joke.
I was out with a friend of mine who passed along this good joke:
A guy gets arrested for being a hit-man, mostly because the police stumbled upon him just after the deed was done.
Once he got to prison, he was allowed a weekly phone call to his father, whom the FBI suspected was also part of the crime family.
One week, his father complained, "I'm getting to old to do all the work readying the garden anymore."
His son responds, "Just leave it alone, The garden is where I hid the bodies."
A week passes until he speaks to his father again.
The father said, the FBI was here and dug up the whole garden looking for bodies."
The son replies, "That's all I can do for you from here dad. Happy gardening."
A guy gets arrested for being a hit-man, mostly because the police stumbled upon him just after the deed was done.
Once he got to prison, he was allowed a weekly phone call to his father, whom the FBI suspected was also part of the crime family.
One week, his father complained, "I'm getting to old to do all the work readying the garden anymore."
His son responds, "Just leave it alone, The garden is where I hid the bodies."
A week passes until he speaks to his father again.
The father said, the FBI was here and dug up the whole garden looking for bodies."
The son replies, "That's all I can do for you from here dad. Happy gardening."
Monday, May 23, 2011
Something To Think Aout
This, from Harper's Maazine(1920), in a magazine article titled 'Cargoes Through The Clouds':
AmaAmazing
Amazing, isn't it, that 90 years later, we have a similar effect between texting, chatspeak and twitters.
Lord Northcliffe, whose offer of a $50,000 prize was one of the stimuli of the men who undertook to fly across the Atlantic last spring, was quick to see the possibilities of closer Anglo-American relations which the flight in sixteen hours of Alcock and Brown from Newfoundland to Ireland opened up. "A warning to cable monopolists," he termed the feat, adding that the voyage was quicker than the average time of press messages in 1919. "I look forward with certainty," he said, "to the time when the London morning newspapers will be selling in New York in the evening, allowing for the difference between British and American time, and vice versa in regard to the New York evening newspapers reaching London the next day. Then we shall no longer suffer from the danger of garbled quotations due to telegraphic compression. Then, too, the American and British peoples will understand each other better, as they are brought into closer daily touch."
AmaAmazing
Amazing, isn't it, that 90 years later, we have a similar effect between texting, chatspeak and twitters.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Something that drives me nuts...
Reading how people don't like leather, sheepskin, goatskin, etc. drives me nuts. First, I'm not a vegetarian nor vegan, second, I have no problem with skins that come from animals that are food. I only oppose those skins/furs that are hunted/raised only for the skin/fur. In the same vein, I think that sport hunters that don't eat their kill are idiots. Now, it's one thing to kill an animal infected with a terminal disease that you won't eat, but otherwise, you don't kill what you won't eat. Oh, as for rabbit skin, rabbit stew is what's for easter dinner ... with boiled eggs on the side. Maybe you don't want to use leather/fur or eat meat, but don't tell me that I can't. It's about basic freedom of choice.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Feeling those AOL blues
Naw ... not really.
I just am suddenly reminded of the company and how they were constantly under capacity while trying to expand. So when I get an "Over capacity" message from Twitter, it reminds me of that time. Now we just have to wait as High-speed providers, cell networks, etc. eventually reach the same mark and it finally drives prices down.
I just am suddenly reminded of the company and how they were constantly under capacity while trying to expand. So when I get an "Over capacity" message from Twitter, it reminds me of that time. Now we just have to wait as High-speed providers, cell networks, etc. eventually reach the same mark and it finally drives prices down.
Tuesday, May 04, 2010
A Response to 10 Things You Don't Know About Women
A Response to 10 Things You Don't Know About Women by Alyssa Milano
Just to put up my responses....
1. This is not necessarily a bad thing ... and I know men who are that way also.
2. I never did get the reason why the one asking for a date thought they didn't have to pick up the tab.
3. I tend to prefer classic porn over just average smut. It's not that I prefer untrimmed bushes, it's just more often than not, I like a story with my porn.
4. Women tend to focus on the details, while men tend to focus on the bigger picture. Women also tend to paymore attention to social convention than men do. Most social conventions probably exist because of a woman.
5. An eyelash curler probably has been used as a torture device at some point, as well as bras, waxing, high-heels and other fashion ideas.
6. Not true, there are plenty of things that temper her hormonal induced emotion cycle.
7. I think it's weird too, that's probably why I never got into watching sports.
8. The only thing I hate more than lame pick-up lines, is when they work.
9. Actually, men and women both have selective hearing, just as in #4, women expect to think every detail of a conversation is important, men tend to remember the general gist of it, and the highlights, probably the reason that sports is covered in the same fashion.
10. In reality:
circular Saw - had since long before Tabitha Babbit, though she could be said to have industrialized it.
signal flare - Was an invention of her husband, though Martha Coston did perfect it in 1859.
space suit - Since When??
bulletproof vest - the Ballistic Polymer fiber that makes up the modern vest was created by Stephanie Kwolek in 1971.
windshield wiper - True, invented by Mary Anderson in 1903.
Don't worry about it, myths often overtake fact. Most people still think Edison invented the light-bulb.
Just to put up my responses....
1. This is not necessarily a bad thing ... and I know men who are that way also.
2. I never did get the reason why the one asking for a date thought they didn't have to pick up the tab.
3. I tend to prefer classic porn over just average smut. It's not that I prefer untrimmed bushes, it's just more often than not, I like a story with my porn.
4. Women tend to focus on the details, while men tend to focus on the bigger picture. Women also tend to paymore attention to social convention than men do. Most social conventions probably exist because of a woman.
5. An eyelash curler probably has been used as a torture device at some point, as well as bras, waxing, high-heels and other fashion ideas.
6. Not true, there are plenty of things that temper her hormonal induced emotion cycle.
7. I think it's weird too, that's probably why I never got into watching sports.
8. The only thing I hate more than lame pick-up lines, is when they work.
9. Actually, men and women both have selective hearing, just as in #4, women expect to think every detail of a conversation is important, men tend to remember the general gist of it, and the highlights, probably the reason that sports is covered in the same fashion.
10. In reality:
circular Saw - had since long before Tabitha Babbit, though she could be said to have industrialized it.
signal flare - Was an invention of her husband, though Martha Coston did perfect it in 1859.
space suit - Since When??
bulletproof vest - the Ballistic Polymer fiber that makes up the modern vest was created by Stephanie Kwolek in 1971.
windshield wiper - True, invented by Mary Anderson in 1903.
Don't worry about it, myths often overtake fact. Most people still think Edison invented the light-bulb.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Crash
So after talking to the home insurance, I'll be calling his directly first to see if they want to take care of it quickly without a hassle or if I'll have to process it through home owner's insurance , pay out up to $250 as a deductible and hope they get it back from the car insurance. So several poles, a bunch of fencing, cement to fix the poles in the ground, seed to reseed the lawn, etc. And that's the reason I don't lend my car to others. I'm guessing he was doing at least double the speed limit with triple being more likely.
On the positive note, I've met more neighbors who want to talk about the damage than I've met in a long while. The neighborhood is slowly getting back to neighbors rather than strangers. It takes a little effort, but maybe we'll get it there again.
Tuesday, February 02, 2010
Damned Drivers
I almost became a Rorschach inkblot yesterday that is if you replace inkblot between folded paper with bloodstain between folded automobile. A 10 ton truck decided to enter my lane ... whilst I was still in it. Have you ever noticed that it's more difficult to find the horn on the spokes of the steering wheel when you have little time to do it? I just have. It's been bad weather and / or stupid people for the last few weeks. Add that to a lower reaction time due to non-consistent sleep patterns, and it's an accident waiting to happen. I'll be blogging more later.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Friday, November 06, 2009
Odd thoughts,,,
Saw an advertisement for a single apartment. I paused ...
...
and then I wondered: Have you ever seen a married apartment?
There, of course, must be some, after all, there are in-law apartments.
And where do these apartments meet? At an apartment complex?
...
and then I wondered: Have you ever seen a married apartment?
There, of course, must be some, after all, there are in-law apartments.
And where do these apartments meet? At an apartment complex?
Friday, October 30, 2009
This story from a couple years ago.
13-Year-Old Electrocuted At Southington Substation -- Courant.com
SOUTHINGTON -- Police are investigating the electrocution of a 13-year-old Tuesday at a utilities substation on Johnson Avenue near the Meriden line.
The body of Junus Cecunjanin was found by a Connecticut Light & Power worker at 5:05 p.m. on the ground inside the fenced-off substation. The worker, who lives on Johnson Avenue, had lost power at his home and notified a supervisor.
Cecunjanin, a freshman at Crosby High School in Waterbury, had spent the day helping his parents clean and paint a home at 250 Gwen Road, which his family recently purchased.
His father, Dzevat Cecunjanin, had been searching for the teenager when emergency personnel arrived at the substation. He said his son didn't know the area.
"I'm looking for my son," a shaken Cecunjanin said. "I ask the police. I cannot find my son for the past 10 minutes."
Power went out shortly after the electrocution.
CL&P officials cut electricity to the street, putting about 1,800 customers in the dark. Meriden and Southington police cordoned off about a half-mile of Johnson Avenue to investigate the accident. Power was later restored.
"We are investigating why the person is in there and how the person got in there," CL&P spokesman Mitch Gross said. "We're trying to coordinate everything with police. Our hearts and thoughts go out to the family. You train, but you pray you never have to react to something like this."
As police searched the scene, Cecunjanin and a woman, identified as the boy's mother, paced nervously along Johnson Avenue, to the substation and back.
The couple's two other sons stood quietly by a tree in the front yard.
Neighbors wearing pajamas and sweaters came out of darkened homes to observe the activity on the typically quiet street.
Susan Mullany, of 161 Gwen Road, was walking to Gwen Road and Johnson Avenue at about 7 p.m. when she heard the anguished scream of "Oh, my God!" coming from the Cecunjanin's new home. The sounds of sobbing followed. Police officers stood guard in the driveway.
"I just feel so bad," Mullany said. "It made me feel so hopeless; you want to go to help them."
The substation is less than a quarter-mile from the Cecunjanin's home. It has a gate to block vehicles and a 20-foot-high fence surrounding high-voltage electrical equipment. There are also "danger" signs warning against trespassing.
Police and CL&P are investigating possible weaknesses in the fenced area and whether the teen might have used something to touch the wires.
Gross said the locks on the fences were in place and that the gates were secure.
"We have to look at a lot of information at the scene," said Sgt. Lowell DePalma, spokesman for the Southington Police Department.
Dan Manchester, who lives at 654 Johnson Ave., said he and his wife heard a loud hum, but thought it was a squirrel on a line. They knew it was more serious when emergency crews arrived.
The Cecunjanins live at Meriden-Waterbury Road and were preparing the house for their move.
At about 7:30 p.m., an ambulance pulled up in front of 250 Gwen Road and paramedics helped Cecunjanin's mother onto a stretcher.
"They had just moved in," said Jennifer Wallberg, of 600 Johnson Ave. "We never would have thought anything like this would happen."
SOUTHINGTON -- Police are investigating the electrocution of a 13-year-old Tuesday at a utilities substation on Johnson Avenue near the Meriden line.
The body of Junus Cecunjanin was found by a Connecticut Light & Power worker at 5:05 p.m. on the ground inside the fenced-off substation. The worker, who lives on Johnson Avenue, had lost power at his home and notified a supervisor.
Cecunjanin, a freshman at Crosby High School in Waterbury, had spent the day helping his parents clean and paint a home at 250 Gwen Road, which his family recently purchased.
His father, Dzevat Cecunjanin, had been searching for the teenager when emergency personnel arrived at the substation. He said his son didn't know the area.
"I'm looking for my son," a shaken Cecunjanin said. "I ask the police. I cannot find my son for the past 10 minutes."
Power went out shortly after the electrocution.
CL&P officials cut electricity to the street, putting about 1,800 customers in the dark. Meriden and Southington police cordoned off about a half-mile of Johnson Avenue to investigate the accident. Power was later restored.
"We are investigating why the person is in there and how the person got in there," CL&P spokesman Mitch Gross said. "We're trying to coordinate everything with police. Our hearts and thoughts go out to the family. You train, but you pray you never have to react to something like this."
As police searched the scene, Cecunjanin and a woman, identified as the boy's mother, paced nervously along Johnson Avenue, to the substation and back.
The couple's two other sons stood quietly by a tree in the front yard.
Neighbors wearing pajamas and sweaters came out of darkened homes to observe the activity on the typically quiet street.
Susan Mullany, of 161 Gwen Road, was walking to Gwen Road and Johnson Avenue at about 7 p.m. when she heard the anguished scream of "Oh, my God!" coming from the Cecunjanin's new home. The sounds of sobbing followed. Police officers stood guard in the driveway.
"I just feel so bad," Mullany said. "It made me feel so hopeless; you want to go to help them."
The substation is less than a quarter-mile from the Cecunjanin's home. It has a gate to block vehicles and a 20-foot-high fence surrounding high-voltage electrical equipment. There are also "danger" signs warning against trespassing.
Police and CL&P are investigating possible weaknesses in the fenced area and whether the teen might have used something to touch the wires.
Gross said the locks on the fences were in place and that the gates were secure.
"We have to look at a lot of information at the scene," said Sgt. Lowell DePalma, spokesman for the Southington Police Department.
Dan Manchester, who lives at 654 Johnson Ave., said he and his wife heard a loud hum, but thought it was a squirrel on a line. They knew it was more serious when emergency crews arrived.
The Cecunjanins live at Meriden-Waterbury Road and were preparing the house for their move.
At about 7:30 p.m., an ambulance pulled up in front of 250 Gwen Road and paramedics helped Cecunjanin's mother onto a stretcher.
"They had just moved in," said Jennifer Wallberg, of 600 Johnson Ave. "We never would have thought anything like this would happen."
Investigation Into Teen's Electrocution Continues
Police Say Teen's Family Was Preparing For Move
POSTED: 5:06 pm EDT October 10, 2007
SOUTHINGTON, Conn. -- Officers remained at a utility substation where a teen died throughout the night Tuesday and day Wednesday, trying to reconstruct what happened.Junus Cecunjanin, 13, was found at about 5 p.m. Tuesday inside the Connecticut Light and Power substation on Johnson Avenue in Southington.Police said Wednesday that they believe that Cecunjanin scaled the substation's fence and then climbed onto equipment, coming into contact with the power line.Investigators said it doesn't appear that the substation was open or easily accessible.CL&P workers found the boy's body after one heard a bang before the power went out. About 1,800 Southington utility customers were left without power Tuesday night while the investigation was underway.
Police said Junus' family had recently purchased a home on Glen Road in Southington had had enrolled their children in school. The family was preparing to move to the town from Waterbury.The family was painting the home in preparation for move-in day at the time of the electrocution, according to police. Police said Junus told his family that he was going to play with friends before going to the substation. Investigators said they were unsure whether the friends were with him at the time of the accident.
Personally, this is a case of Darwinism. You jump the fence into a high-voltage power substation and get electrocuted. I'm personally glad he's out of the gene pool.
Saturday, September 05, 2009
Why haven't looked at Playboy in years...
The Bold Print is Playboy's list of Top 10 Sex Acts That Should Be Retired by John DeVore.
1. Sex Act: Spanking
Why It Should Be Retired:
Fine, a little ass slap never hurt anybody. But paddles? No, we will not bend over. And no you will not spank us. Why? Because we are grown-ass adults. We won’t sit in the corner, either. People who are obsessed with spanking are bringing their therapy into the bedroom. You know what you should bring into the bedroom? Your genitals.
Alternative Sex Act:
Hair pulling. We’re not talking fistfuls of scalp. But a good, aggressive yank says pay attention and let’s bang it out better than any fey pat on the ass.
Bah, so long as you're not breaking things or bleeding, and it's between consenting adults. As for hair pulling, I'll do it under the right circumstances, but not hard. Women painfully yanking my hair should be ready to get grudge fucked.
2. Sex Act: Threesomes
Why It Should Be Retired:
It’s the sexual equivalent of the buffet at the Golden Corral: If one chick is good, then two must be awesome, right? Wrong, Augustus Gloop. Having a spare is only necessary when it comes to tires, batteries and machine gun magazines. Most guys have enough problems pleasing one woman, and the entire threesome fantasy hinges on a self-deceiving ego trip. Two women do not make twice the man.
Alternative Sex Act:
How about a “Giving One Woman an Orgasm-some.”
Not that it's too difficult to get a woman to orgasm ... really. You don't take threesome's out just because some men don't know a clitoris from a belly button.
3. Sex Act: Sex in the Shower
Why It Should Be Retired:
Women love sex in the shower. They claim it’s sensual. This claim is highly disputable, since there’s nothing sensual about slipping, soap in the eyes or formerly hot water turning testicle-witheringly cold. Women like sex in the shower because they are all clean freaks. Sex is supposed to be dirty, stinky and sticky. It’s just part of the fun of the reproductive act.
Alternative Sex Act:
Sex after the gym, when everything is super musky. Shower after.
You can tell the writer is not a sensual person, You clean each other with soap, then have sex. Rinse and repeat as wanted. Sweaty sex is as fun and no better or worse than shower sex.
4. Sex Act: Handcuffs
Why It Should Be Retired:
Handcuffs immediately recall the po-po, and there is nothing sexy about Johnny Law. Besides, is there any more hackneyed and unoriginal a fetish than wanting to shackle someone to a bed? It’s a control freak's go-to kink, but sex is already about losing control. Lighten up. Plus anything involving your being naked and a key is just a bad idea. We’re here to help you, T.J. Hooker.
Alternative Sex Act:
If you must tie or be tied, try fruit leather straps, because you should be able to chew your way out of love restraints. Mmm, fruity deliciousness.
Maybe this ties into #8, but I'll admit, handcuffs are handy on the go, but not comfortable at all, get a beginner's bondage kit instead. But, as said, they're handy, and nothing beats having them in the glove box for some spur of the moment fun.
5. Sex Act: Brazilians
Why It Should Be Retired:
It is not sexy to sleep with a woman whose vagina looks prepubescent. An airstrip? Fine. But squeaky like a dolphin? Not so much. Some might argue that it’s more hygienic, but they are wrong. You know what’s hygienic? Soap and water. The very act of even getting a Brazilian is full-on medieval…so much torturous ripping. There is no point in mutilating your beautiful ladyflower.
Alternative Sex Act:
Ladies, let your 1970s jungle bush bloom.
Apparently he's a hirstute lover. Also, having a bush will not make porn suddenly have stories like they did in the 70's. I don't sleep with women for their bush, so it's a personal thing. But admittedly, I prefer women neater than the jungle bush, bare or groomed is great.
6. Sex Act: Road Head
Why It Should Be Retired:
Why it’s sexy to get a blow job while operating heavy machinery is utterly baffling. Is it a rush, the ability to drive a car while getting serviced? It’s a nice gesture on her part, but you don’t need to be that relaxed while hurtling through traffic at 55 miles an hour. Concentrate so you don't wrap your car around any poles—she can wrap her lips around yours later.
Alternative Sex Act:
Church parking lot head. It’s safer and sacrilegious. Naughty!
Road head is a safer form of public sex, unless you get orally castrated by getting into a wreck. Church lot isn't neccessarily better, the cops locally regularly patrol the church lots here.
7. Sex Act: Flavored Sexual Lubricant
Why It Should Be Retired:
If we wanted to go down on a slice of strawberry shortcake, we'd stick our tongues into an actual slice of strawberry shortcake. Short of that, we're fans of woman-flavor, and we don’t need salves to poorly fool us otherwise.
Alternative Sex Act:
If you really desire some other taste when crunching it, try actual condiments. Or gravy.
If 'm using lube anyway, why not flavored? I like most of them, but cinnamon is a favorite. Condiments already used are whipped-cream and various flavored syrups.
8. Sex Act: Role Playing
Why It Should Be Retired:
If you wanted to date Little Red Riding Hood, you should have gone to the magical forest rather than the club to meet women. And what’s the deal with sexy nurses? Is there such a thing as a sexy hospital? No. Role playing is a sign that one of you wants to sleep with other people. When we look into the eyes of someone we’re sleeping with, we want to see them, not the eyes of a mentally-ill loonybird method actor.
Alternative Sex Act:
Wear funny hats instead. We’ll put on this magician's top hat, you can wear the Native American feather headdress.
Bah, sometimes it can be alot of fun. Princess Leia Bikini and Han Solo? Catwoman and Batman? Your favorite anime? Whatever floats your boat, don't go bitching about others lives.
9. Sex Act: Candle Wax
Why It Should Be Retired:
Hot wax and nipples do not mix. For that matter, neither does any kind of open flame within a three-foot radius of male junk. We like emo Goth chicks as much as the next guy, and are not averse to a little nipple nibbling. But candles? Hot wax? Did we commit a crime? Can’t we just blare the Cure instead? Hot wax is to sex what stabbing your tongue with a fork is to dinner.
Alternative Sex Act:
If a little pain is totally necessary, how about you let us decorate your body with band-aids. Then pull.
Okay, seeing how I don't wax, and I'm not into pain, I haven't played with this. I would do it on request, but not just because.
10. Sex Act: Handjobs
Why It Should Be Retired:
Unfortunately, when hooking up, we are not hiding from teachers underneath the bleachers. So give up the handjob, and let’s get down to some serious business. This is not a reflection on your patented technique—It’s just that we’re not in your parent’s basement, and it’s a little lazy too. While we’re talking about this, we’re going to cancel ye olde fingerbang too.
Alternative Sex Act:
Penis in the vagina.
Well, handjobs are good safe sex, and can be fun in an integral part of a relationship. Apparently, all women should be taught how to give a good hand job from women in southeast asia. I'll take a good handjob over a bad blowjob or bad fuck anyday.
1. Sex Act: Spanking
Why It Should Be Retired:
Fine, a little ass slap never hurt anybody. But paddles? No, we will not bend over. And no you will not spank us. Why? Because we are grown-ass adults. We won’t sit in the corner, either. People who are obsessed with spanking are bringing their therapy into the bedroom. You know what you should bring into the bedroom? Your genitals.
Alternative Sex Act:
Hair pulling. We’re not talking fistfuls of scalp. But a good, aggressive yank says pay attention and let’s bang it out better than any fey pat on the ass.
Bah, so long as you're not breaking things or bleeding, and it's between consenting adults. As for hair pulling, I'll do it under the right circumstances, but not hard. Women painfully yanking my hair should be ready to get grudge fucked.
2. Sex Act: Threesomes
Why It Should Be Retired:
It’s the sexual equivalent of the buffet at the Golden Corral: If one chick is good, then two must be awesome, right? Wrong, Augustus Gloop. Having a spare is only necessary when it comes to tires, batteries and machine gun magazines. Most guys have enough problems pleasing one woman, and the entire threesome fantasy hinges on a self-deceiving ego trip. Two women do not make twice the man.
Alternative Sex Act:
How about a “Giving One Woman an Orgasm-some.”
Not that it's too difficult to get a woman to orgasm ... really. You don't take threesome's out just because some men don't know a clitoris from a belly button.
3. Sex Act: Sex in the Shower
Why It Should Be Retired:
Women love sex in the shower. They claim it’s sensual. This claim is highly disputable, since there’s nothing sensual about slipping, soap in the eyes or formerly hot water turning testicle-witheringly cold. Women like sex in the shower because they are all clean freaks. Sex is supposed to be dirty, stinky and sticky. It’s just part of the fun of the reproductive act.
Alternative Sex Act:
Sex after the gym, when everything is super musky. Shower after.
You can tell the writer is not a sensual person, You clean each other with soap, then have sex. Rinse and repeat as wanted. Sweaty sex is as fun and no better or worse than shower sex.
4. Sex Act: Handcuffs
Why It Should Be Retired:
Handcuffs immediately recall the po-po, and there is nothing sexy about Johnny Law. Besides, is there any more hackneyed and unoriginal a fetish than wanting to shackle someone to a bed? It’s a control freak's go-to kink, but sex is already about losing control. Lighten up. Plus anything involving your being naked and a key is just a bad idea. We’re here to help you, T.J. Hooker.
Alternative Sex Act:
If you must tie or be tied, try fruit leather straps, because you should be able to chew your way out of love restraints. Mmm, fruity deliciousness.
Maybe this ties into #8, but I'll admit, handcuffs are handy on the go, but not comfortable at all, get a beginner's bondage kit instead. But, as said, they're handy, and nothing beats having them in the glove box for some spur of the moment fun.
5. Sex Act: Brazilians
Why It Should Be Retired:
It is not sexy to sleep with a woman whose vagina looks prepubescent. An airstrip? Fine. But squeaky like a dolphin? Not so much. Some might argue that it’s more hygienic, but they are wrong. You know what’s hygienic? Soap and water. The very act of even getting a Brazilian is full-on medieval…so much torturous ripping. There is no point in mutilating your beautiful ladyflower.
Alternative Sex Act:
Ladies, let your 1970s jungle bush bloom.
Apparently he's a hirstute lover. Also, having a bush will not make porn suddenly have stories like they did in the 70's. I don't sleep with women for their bush, so it's a personal thing. But admittedly, I prefer women neater than the jungle bush, bare or groomed is great.
6. Sex Act: Road Head
Why It Should Be Retired:
Why it’s sexy to get a blow job while operating heavy machinery is utterly baffling. Is it a rush, the ability to drive a car while getting serviced? It’s a nice gesture on her part, but you don’t need to be that relaxed while hurtling through traffic at 55 miles an hour. Concentrate so you don't wrap your car around any poles—she can wrap her lips around yours later.
Alternative Sex Act:
Church parking lot head. It’s safer and sacrilegious. Naughty!
Road head is a safer form of public sex, unless you get orally castrated by getting into a wreck. Church lot isn't neccessarily better, the cops locally regularly patrol the church lots here.
7. Sex Act: Flavored Sexual Lubricant
Why It Should Be Retired:
If we wanted to go down on a slice of strawberry shortcake, we'd stick our tongues into an actual slice of strawberry shortcake. Short of that, we're fans of woman-flavor, and we don’t need salves to poorly fool us otherwise.
Alternative Sex Act:
If you really desire some other taste when crunching it, try actual condiments. Or gravy.
If 'm using lube anyway, why not flavored? I like most of them, but cinnamon is a favorite. Condiments already used are whipped-cream and various flavored syrups.
8. Sex Act: Role Playing
Why It Should Be Retired:
If you wanted to date Little Red Riding Hood, you should have gone to the magical forest rather than the club to meet women. And what’s the deal with sexy nurses? Is there such a thing as a sexy hospital? No. Role playing is a sign that one of you wants to sleep with other people. When we look into the eyes of someone we’re sleeping with, we want to see them, not the eyes of a mentally-ill loonybird method actor.
Alternative Sex Act:
Wear funny hats instead. We’ll put on this magician's top hat, you can wear the Native American feather headdress.
Bah, sometimes it can be alot of fun. Princess Leia Bikini and Han Solo? Catwoman and Batman? Your favorite anime? Whatever floats your boat, don't go bitching about others lives.
9. Sex Act: Candle Wax
Why It Should Be Retired:
Hot wax and nipples do not mix. For that matter, neither does any kind of open flame within a three-foot radius of male junk. We like emo Goth chicks as much as the next guy, and are not averse to a little nipple nibbling. But candles? Hot wax? Did we commit a crime? Can’t we just blare the Cure instead? Hot wax is to sex what stabbing your tongue with a fork is to dinner.
Alternative Sex Act:
If a little pain is totally necessary, how about you let us decorate your body with band-aids. Then pull.
Okay, seeing how I don't wax, and I'm not into pain, I haven't played with this. I would do it on request, but not just because.
10. Sex Act: Handjobs
Why It Should Be Retired:
Unfortunately, when hooking up, we are not hiding from teachers underneath the bleachers. So give up the handjob, and let’s get down to some serious business. This is not a reflection on your patented technique—It’s just that we’re not in your parent’s basement, and it’s a little lazy too. While we’re talking about this, we’re going to cancel ye olde fingerbang too.
Alternative Sex Act:
Penis in the vagina.
Well, handjobs are good safe sex, and can be fun in an integral part of a relationship. Apparently, all women should be taught how to give a good hand job from women in southeast asia. I'll take a good handjob over a bad blowjob or bad fuck anyday.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Friday, August 14, 2009
A good way to express it.
Of course, you could replace bush with any government official. Really. Bailing out companies that make bad deciscions is stupid, and likely to repeat itself. Well, unless you jail the corporate officers who got it there, and probably the Board of Directors as well.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Human Trafficing in the real world.
An old friend called me a few hours ago. A person she knows, who was a friend of a person she knew who died, was talking with her. Apparently he's out of work. So he hooked up with a pimp in a major city. He's going to go to an Asian country, marry a minor, bring her to the pimp, and sell her to him for $30,000 or so dollars. He was asking my friend about how difficult it might be to get a divorce. Needless to say, my friend freaked out and called me to ask if it was okay to rat him out.
My answer was a resounding "YES!". The friend going to talk with the police. I really hate these scum-buckets. So, next time someone says "That only happens in the movies or on TV." You can be assured that it really happens in real life too. Real life is as strange and fucked up, or more so, than fiction.
I'll let you all know how it turns out later. I'm obviously being scant on details to prevent said persons from knowing before police intervention.
My answer was a resounding "YES!". The friend going to talk with the police. I really hate these scum-buckets. So, next time someone says "That only happens in the movies or on TV." You can be assured that it really happens in real life too. Real life is as strange and fucked up, or more so, than fiction.
I'll let you all know how it turns out later. I'm obviously being scant on details to prevent said persons from knowing before police intervention.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Quote of the Day
He that is of the opinion money will do everything may well be suspected of doing everything for money.
Benjamin Franklin (1706 - 1790)
Benjamin Franklin (1706 - 1790)
Friday, July 24, 2009
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