A more complete reply to:
Kid Sis and her 3AM poll.
Hmmm... good question. I wouldn't say that it is or isn't possible. I don't know of any formulae for love. It's different for all people.
I tend to follow the theory of :
"I've looked at the world for quite a few years now and I've found that if I don't laugh, I'll probably end up crying."
I myself loved women who have made me laugh, as well as those who haven't. People ask me why I'm still not with them if I loved them. I tell them, love is great, but there were things that did not make for a long-term relationship. Sometimes on my part, sometimes on theirs, but ultimately, you either ride it out and end up bitter, or you move on and try to find someone compatible to take that long run with and remain friends with your old loves.
Basically, the relationship has to be synergetic. Our differences should be complementary and help to fill in weaknesses of the other, our similarities should bind us together, and we should both be committed to being loyal to each other through the bad times as well as the good times. To be able to converse with and confide in each other. Attraction is necessary, some physical, but more so emotional and intellectual. Sexual compatibility is a must. Many relationships have failed on this alone. Men tend to stray to try something new that they are afraid to voice to their partner. Women tend to stray for emotional need, because they tend to expect that men should 'know' somehow psychically that something is wrong. Men are really bad about reading those signals, and I know I am especially bad at them. Take the time to confide in your partner. Many people like dominant partners, and many like submissive partners. I'm one of those who prefers to collaborate. Although I tend to be somewhat more dominant in the bedroom. We should encourage the best from each other, and be honest about everything. If you don't want an honest answer, don't ask the question. It may be painful at times, but less so than being lied to, and then finding out that they were lying later. A compatible sense of humor is a necessity. Mine is a bit dark, and often sarcastic, and sometimes dry & witty.
Hmmm... I guess summing it up: Trustworthy, loyal, complementary, and sexually compatable are my biggest points.
Monday, January 19, 2009
You know what I hate most about this day? It's everyone talking about how Martin Luther King was all about equality for blacks. Ummm....No he wasn't. If you listen to what he was saing, it was equality amongst all human beings. Most people say we have a race problem still. On the whole, we don't. Sure there's some losers out there who worship hitler or white sheets, but they're more of a minority now. Mostly it's about class. Specifically about money. Oprah and Bill Cosby are not looked at with the same disdane as someone poor and black. But here's the thing, if you're poor and white, they will also treat you with the same disdain.